Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Antsy

I am extremely bored. And restless. And, well, generally uninspired. And I'm not sure why.

I really hate when I get into these stages because I want to change it but I don't know how. Mainly because I don't know what...what do I want to do, what do I want to make? Saying that I'm looking for the meaning of my life seems much more dramatic than I mean it to be, but I suppose that's what's going on here. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Who am I helping? Does my life enrich others?

I suppose I should start working on my cookbook again. It sort of fell off of my radar after several recipes didn't get tested. I should start testing them myself and then begin photographing them, too. That would be a good project, but...I'm just not into it for some reason.

I could bake a cake and decorate it. But the thought of hours of sugar work and the cleanup that goes along with that seems daunting.

I could write-but...no, that doesn't seem to be realistic, especially when I'm lacking inspiration.

I could make jewelry, but that's expensive. And my tools are in CT and I don't want to buy new ones.

Work isn't challenging. Books don't interest me. Movies bore me. Lately I find myself looking at the clock at 9pm and thinking that I should just go to sleep. I don't want to sleep life away. Most of the time, I'm not even tired.

So what do I do? Where should I look for inspiration? What's going to be the kick in the pants that I need to get back on track?

I don't know the answers...I hope I find them fast. Antsy doesn't suit me.

3 comments:

lashetta said...

runs in the fam huh? I do not have the answers to all of your questions, I dont have these answers for myself. But I can answer one of them. You certainly enrich the lives of others, like for instance, MINE. And you help me when I need it and it's nice to know someone loves me on those days where Im not sure of anything. Your a good reminder. And, I love you. Ive needed somethin to kick me in the ass to get myself together for to long now. Lemme know if you got any tips lol. I guess sometimes you gotta be "down" so when your "up" it feels even better?

Lisa said...

Thanks Lash. <3

Desert Songbird said...

I am all too familiar with this feeling. Sometimes I think if I didn't have my kids on which to focus, I would lose all sense of focus entirely. Now as I recover from surgery, I'm even more listless. I don't do much all day as I take time to heal, and my mind wanders aimlessly. Ugh....