Thursday, October 6, 2011


I'm not what you'd call a bad girl. I don't like to break rules and I generally try to be overly considerate of other people. I don't like to cut in lines or walk on the grass.* In college when I tried smoking I was paranoid before taking a hit and pretty much shit my pants when, while we were sitting in IHop, a police officer came in and sat across the room from our group.**

I did steal an eyeliner from Caldor when I was a junior in high school for the prom. I still have it. I think it's because of the guilt.

I tell you this because today, while shopping for supplies for our camping trip this weekend I think I managed to alert the store's security guard. And I'm pretty sure that while trying to look really super innocent I ended up looked really super guilty.

You see, I watch too many crime dramas and was addicted to the show "Lie to Me". So even though I'm telling the truth or being a good citizen by not stealing stuff, I worry that people will falsely accuse me of doing these things. So I think about ways to prove that I didn't do it-whatever "it" may be. And in doing so, I end up looking guilty because I become hyper aware of my surroundings and look jumpy.

Take today for instance. Pretty much every trip to Target usually ends with me checking out the jewelry department for new items on clearance. (I hardly ever buy anything for myself at full price.) I always worry when:

1. I am wearing jewelry which I bought at Target on another trip.
2. I am wearing rings while looking at other rings.

I worry that they'll think I stole something which I bought earlier and that I'll somehow have to give them back my own jewelry before I can leave the store. But I digress...

Today there were a few funky bracelets on clearance. As I began trying one one, I spied the security guard who just managed to find me again. (I thought I'd lost him in the sock section-no such luck.) He rounded the corner and made eye contact-just as I was about to slip a bracelet on my wrist. So, instead of finishing my action like any normal person would do, I stopped and put the bracelet back. Without trying it on. And then I realized how stupid that was because if I were him, I'd think that I was about to steal the bracelet but saw him there and decided not to. So I picked it up again and tried it on. Which made me chuckle to myself because, well, a trip to Target should NOT be this intense.

Clearly, I think too much.

*I'm not a prude. There are some rules I'll break but if I don't have to break a rule, I'd rather not. They're there for a reason, and most of the time, my life is just fine without breakin' the law.

**I have no idea what I was originally going to write on this asterisk. But thank you for reading. It means the world to me. :)


Melisa Wells said...

Uh, WOW. You ARE paranoid.

But you made me giggle a little bit, so...carry on!

Auntie Rita said...

The scary thing is, I identify with much of this. Tried smoking and THC each once, realized it left me too vulnerable to the bad people, and was not worth the money. =O Stole a barette in Jr. High and felt so bad about it I swore I'd never steal anything again.

The way I avoid being paranoid, is that I know there are cameras everywhere. If you are wearing jewelry you bought at the store you are in, they would have to prove that you stole it! If they accuse you of stealing something, they have to prove it! Since they can't, because you didn't, you have nothing to worry about.

I do wonder why some people worry about getting in trouble, which is really what you are worried about since you are not doing anything wrong... and why other people don't worry about anything. Have we been wrongfully accused in the past, and worry about it happening again? Have we suffered injustice, and recognize that injustice still exists? Finding the root, and digging it up, and throwing it away will get rid of the worry.

Think of it this way.

So next time you are worried, go get chocolate...Just be sure to pay for it first. =) Love you!

Lois said...

I'm so that way sometimes, so I completely understand.

Desert Songbird said...

I'm sorry, but.......that Target story made me laugh. ;)